I’m gonna be dead….ok take it easy I’m probably not gonna die today…I hope…but it will happen someday.

It has been a while since I’ve written anything and another birthday has just come and gone so I figured that it was time to spend a few minutes on one of my favorite subjects….Death!!

(Ok this is when most of you will quit reading this because you dont want to read or think about what i’m gonna say or I’ve bored you to tears and you’d rather spend the next few precious minutes of your life hugging that special somebody in your life, watching another rerun of Seinfeld , or maybe even flossing before bed …anything but reading this dribble….I understand…go live your life…or what is left of it…opps sorry…really...Go be happy!!)

For the rest of my faithful readers thanks for being so curious and reading on.

I’m not obsessed with death…I like to think of it as being obsessed with life. I think about it everyday. I think about my life and where I am in it almost moment by moment. From the minute that I wake up and decide if I can put my socks on before my bladder explodes on the way to the bathroom. I love the first sip of coffee as I stare out the window watching cars race up the street to the next red light on their way to a job that Im glad that I dont have as I head back to the kitchen for a second cup.

Its early and I notice the moon is setting in the cold blue winter sky. But the sun feels good on my face even on the 20 degree February morning and I wonder how many more full moons that I will see like this because it may be cloudy next month during the full moon or I may not look up to see it because Im to busy pulling Lola as barks at the dog across the street while we get in the car on our way to our morning hike or…… I may be dead….I like to acknowledge all of the possibilities..lol

I have the luxury now to able to be in the moments of everyday life. I dont enjoy all of them of course…sitting in the dentist chair as I imagine his hand slipping and the drill ripping thru my jaw like a hot knife thru butter but instead I focus on the story that he is telling me, as I lay there gaging and mumbling thru my own spit , ……. he tells a story about a famous high school basketball player from the 60’s that we both know and who he played against that overdosed before he was 25. ( I love stories…even sad ones)

Ok where was I..??…oh yeah…being in the moment …death…blah, blah, blah

We always think that things will get better someday….if I can just win the lottery…just take a vacation…just get home and have a beer…or at least they will be better tomorrow if i could just get to sleep. And of course things WERE always better back when…I was young…I could fill my Volkswagen Beetle up with gas for $3.00…and bell bottoms were cool. But most of us dont live in the moment even though the minute that we are born is also the when the clock starts ticking. I remember as a kid someone saying “ dont waste your breath” and the phrase haunted me because I thought that we had a finite number of breaths and once we had used them all …boom ..out go the lights. I used to imagine what it would be like if we knew when our end would come with some internal count down or an expiration date that we all had. Now I realize how random a lot of life is. We all put things off that we want to do thinking that there is always more time.

But the reality is nothing is guaranteed so I tend to enjoy what I have….while occasionally reliving some of the fun days of the past but also making plans for a possible future…all the while knowing that there is an end which for me makes the here and now so much sweeter.

THE END ???…Ooh…La…La!!