Old White Guys

We wander the aisle like lost souls searching for the Holy Grail or battery that fits our old power drill. We endlessly search for a two by four that is straight and paint brush that is made from the hair of some albino goat from the Himalayas but only works with latex paint exotic and costs more than my daughters college education.
We all of the same tribe, old white guys at Home Depot. We have scruffy beards, ripped jeans, some of us wear shorts even when it is 30 degrees outside. We ain't hip enough for smart phones but have the latest pickup that has never seen a piece of lumber in the back for fear of scratching the poor machine. We don't ask for help unless we are desperate and now we are because we have bought the wrong size bolt three times today and we are to embarrassed to go to the same cashier again so I guess we will ask one of the guys who look like us wandering the aisles in orange vests. We like country music because every guy with a pickup has too....ITS THE LAW!!
We fix things or at least attempt to. It gets us out of the house. We are with other guys, all staring at the package of bolts, warped 2x4's that the other guy didn't want or the endless rows of plumbing pipes and fittings for a toilet the has been leaking for 15 years. Heh...the snow blowers are out under the fake Christmas trees next to the blow up Santa who is stuck in some inflated chimney.
Ah Saturdays are great here. A safe haven... a place to wander in a mans world. It is that a woman coming towards me getting ready to ask me if I need help finding the right socket wrench? If I just say I'm ok maybe she will move on to the next poor soul and leave me to wander and search in my ignorant bliss.